April 1, 2026
When I was a freshman in college, I came in as a chemical engineering major. Bright eyed and determined. I cannot exactly pinpoint the source of my motivation but I hit it hard. Constantly studying, doing practice tests, getting an undergraduate research position in a lab testing hydrogen fuel cells and all that bullshit.
By my sophomore year, I switched to business. Majoring, in arguably the easiest major, in marketing. This freed up my schedule greatly so I could smoke more cigarettes and drink more four lokos. It was great.
When I started my career in software sales, I hit it hard. I was working 60+ hours/week which is extremely uncommon for an entry level sales role. A few weeks ago, after 7 years in the field, I got fired for not working hard enough, simply put. I knew what to do in order to avoid termination, I just didn’t care enough to do it.
A couple months ago I finished writing Concrete Lemon. 5-6 days week for 10 hours a day for 2 months. All I did was write. It’s funny the things you can do when you don’t have to work.
I’ll eat the same meal on repeat for weeks before I get sick of it. At one point it was banana and Cheerios for breakfast. Salad with chopped chicken, panko breadcrumbs and Italian dressing for lunch. Recently, it’s been pork snake (tenderloin), pots (potatoes) and rots (carrots) for dinner.
My point here is that I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to test the upper and lower limit is various areas of my life. Work really hard and then ease off. Perfect the same meal and then never eat it again. Invest then divest.
It is my belief that the middle is a dangerous place for development. But you don’t know if you are in the middle unless you know the upper and lower limit. Sure, you might be comfortable and have all of your basic needs met in the middle. But, is it the best it can possibly be? I do not believe there is a really awesome afterlife that can exceed my earthly expectations of happiness, joy and fulfillment. It is my responsibility to create that for myself.
Looking forward to my leftover pork snake, pots and rots for dinner tonight.
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