April 18, 2025
I got married about 7 months ago. My wife and I had been together around 7 years before getting engaged. We went for a hike that was basically a walk. I had the ring hidden at the bottom of an old backpack beneath 4 cans of beer, 2 peanut & jelly sandwiches and a bag of flavor blasted cheddar goldfish mixed with pretzels.
I wanted to propose on a nice looking landing that was across a little creek. After taking a running leap to clear, both of my feet sunk 6 inches in mud that stunk like shit. And then I proposed.
The other day I was thinking about the first time that we saw each other. Two of my roommates in college went to high school with her. She stopped by our house on a random day. There wasn’t anything in particular taking place.
It’s funny to think in hindsight the thoughts that went through my head. Some variation of “she seems cool” and “she’s hot.” We hadn’t spoken a word to each other yet, just a quick eye contact. It was a normal day. We didn’t start dating until a year or so later.
People meet their partners under different circumstances, situations, ages. But everyone has a singular moment of seeing their partner for the first time. With near certainty, there is no such thing as ‘love at first sight.’ There is plenty of ‘lust at first sight,’ though. Anyone that says they fell in love with another person after seeing them for the first time is either an idiot or a liar.
I think that moment of initial eye contact is incredibly profound. I doubt anyone seriously thinks they are going to spend the rest of their life with that person based on a glance. Neither person can picture the successive events and experiences that would immensely shape who they are as a person and their world view. The core of their life looking back at them. No notion of the importance.
The memory brings a sense of fondness and warmth. I would love to observe that moment again as a spirit or something like that. Laugh at the oversized jacket I was probably wearing from Goodwill and the smell of menthol cigarettes. Study my face trying to discern the thoughts running through my head. Waiting for that moment of eye contact.
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